Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Welcome to my world

Hola everyone (that means hello everyone in Spanish),

Welcome to my new blog. I'm very excited about the fact that many of you (well a few of you, well a couple of you) are excited about the fact that I might want to run for congress against one of the three "very bad" bears.

Over the coming months I'm going to need help in spreading the word. It's not going to be easy. We're going to have to convince people that a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives requires no experience as an elected official. That's right, I've never won an election in my life.

You're probably wondering how I got to have such an influential position, you know as chairman of the Democratic party in Miami-Dade county. And the answer is simple. A potent combination of self-promotion, brown nosing, connections, and Afro Sheen.

But enough about my qualifications, you probably want to know about my views and what I'd do if elected to serve you in the 25th congressional district of Florida.

First of all my plan to liberate Cuba:

First, we're going to drown Fidel Castro and his sycophants in tourist dollars.

Then we're going to extend billions of dollars in credit to Castro and have the Federal Government guarantee the loans. Fidel will die of the surprise.

Even if he doesn't we'll gain many allies around the world by caving in to a dictator. We'll soon regain our position as the most respected nation on earth.

And Iraq? A declaration of unconditional surrender to Al Qaeda is certainly in order. I will also introduce a bill to fund cloning research so we can bring Saddam back.

As for the economy, I would like to right the wrongs of the Republican tax cuts. It's time that Washington got it's fair share!

So join me won't you? Together we can make bring back the America of Jimmy Carter that we all knew and loved.

Joe Garcia Democrat Congress Mario Diaz-Balart 25th District


Conductor Hank said...

Hey! This was my idea, you asshat!

Joedilocks said...


I thought it was my idea!

Watch your manners sir.

Conductor Hank said...

Oh, no. I'm sorry. Sometimes I just can't control myself. PLEASE, don't report me! I promise to abide to the Blogger Content Policy from now on!


Conductor Hank said...

And, don't BAN ME. PLEASE!


Joedilocks said...

What content policy?

Ban you?

I didn't know I could.

But that middle finger sure is hurting my feelings.